PinnedMichael MaloneLUKE WARM WATER“I’m leaving for the day,” Robert shouted into the depths of a big hollowed-out tree.Jan 8Jan 8
Michael MaloneBeyond the SwipeIn the grand theater of modern love, dating apps are the main stage, and tonight, you’re starring in yet another tragicomic production…Jul 7Jul 7
Michael MaloneUnread DreadIn the labyrinth of Gmail, I wander lost, A shadow among unread whispers, Doomed to scroll through endless threads, Where dread and…Jul 7Jul 7
Michael MaloneHappy Independence DayIt’s the Fourth of July, and you’re going on a first date. Your friends, always the naysayers, tried to tell you how weird that was, but…Jul 4Jul 4
Michael MaloneLife JacketI recently found myself on a podcast about self-help, which is ironic given my penchant for finding the bleak humor in everything. The…Jun 30Jun 30
Michael MaloneMy New Hiking BuddyI recently started hiking a new trail, and every time I drag myself to the top of one of the big lookouts, I encounter the same lizard. I…Jun 29Jun 29
Michael MaloneThe MilkmanFor a long time, I was a lighthouse for grief. Ships packed to the brim with coulda, woulda, shoulda would dock at my shore, seeking…Jun 29Jun 29
Michael MaloneB33: Terminal HumiliationI got Karen’ed today at the airport, a real hallmark moment of modern air travel. I’m flying Southwest because, you know, I’m fucking…Jun 29Jun 29
Michael MaloneThirty-NineI’ll be thirty-nine next month. THIRTY-NINE. Wow. Honestly, I never thought I would make it this far. I’m not quite sure what to do with…Jan 25, 2022Jan 25, 2022
